How Love and Sacrifice Shape True Success
Overcoming failure, building trust, and achieving greatness through selfless leadership
The Heart of a Team
I couldn’t find him.
David had just run the worst race of his life on the biggest stage our team had ever reached. And now, he was missing.
David, our team captain, had led us through a season of triumph, where a scrappy bunch of underdogs fought their way to success. Just a year before, during my first season as coach, we had made great strides but fell short of our ultimate goal—making it to the state championships. But in 2006, something changed. We had a season filled with grit and determination, taking down top-ranked teams, and now we stood at the brink of a monumental opportunity. We had just advanced to the first round of the state tournament, set to face our cross-town rivals, East Canton. A team we had planned for, dreamed about, strategized against.
David wasn’t our number-one runner, but he was the heartbeat of the team. He anchored the spirit of the group, and gave them belief when they doubted themselves. Yet, on that cool October morning, David didn’t get the job done. His race wasn’t just off—it was devastating.
And now, as we stood ready to accept our runner-up trophy—the first our school had earned in 30 years—David was nowhere to be found. Our tight-knit team, the boys who had battled and bled together all season, couldn’t celebrate without him. They begged me to hold off on accepting the trophy, not until their captain could stand with them.
I found him. Underneath a tree, his hands covering his face, tears welling in his eyes. He didn’t need to say anything—I knew he felt like he had let everyone down. He looked up, eyes red and swollen, and spoke through a shaky voice, “I ruined it. I let the team down.”
I sat beside him, put my arm around him, and pointed toward the distance. His six teammates stood there, watching, waiting. When they saw us look their way, they waved him over—beckoning, urging their leader to join them.
I told him, "David, your leadership is why they believed they could win. They would have lost without you, no matter what happened today. They want you up there, on that stage, with them. Let them show you how they really feel."
He hesitated, but eventually, he rose and walked toward them. The moment he joined his teammates, it wasn’t the trophy they celebrated—it was him. They celebrated their love for their captain, the bond they shared, a bond stronger than victory or defeat. It was love that wrapped itself around every failure, covering the wrongs of the day. And in that moment, I saw what Proverbs 10:12 teaches: "Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers all wrongs."
That day, I witnessed love in its purest form—the kind that rises above individual mistakes and unites a team. Proverbs 10:12 captures this perfectly. In sports, as in life, conflicts arise, mistakes are made, and tensions build. But love—the type of love that forgives, supports, and uplifts—has the power to cover those wrongs, to bring healing and unity where there was once discord.
The Power of Camaraderie
David's story isn’t an isolated one. Over the last 25 years, I’ve been fortunate to witness this kind of camaraderie time and time again on the teams I’ve coached. Great teams don’t just start with talent—they start with trust, support, and a commitment to one another. In high school, that bond often begins when athletes show up to school together, eat lunch side by side, and push each other through grueling practices. They become some of the hardest-working students in the building, forming connections that drive their efforts on and off the field.
But it was as a college coach that I truly began to see the full power of this camaraderie. College athletes live together, often in the same dorm, sometimes even the same floor. I’ve seen upperclassmen willingly give up their spots in the nicest of dorms just to stay in the freshman residence halls alongside their brand-new teammates. That wasn’t the only sacrifice they made. These veteran athletes spent not just the first week, but often the entire first month of the season making sure the freshmen knew what was expected of them.
And they didn’t just gloss over mistakes. No, they held each other accountable, pushing one another to be better every day. Yet, at the end of every practice, no matter the challenges, there was love. National-caliber athletes ran side by side with freshmen, ensuring the recruits truly understood the standards of our program.
Even leaders err
One of the most memorable moments of love in action came from a talented middle-distance runner named Jake. Jake had dreams of making it onto our already-stacked 4x400 meter relay team. The odds were slim, and the best he could hope for was an alternate spot. Still, Jake was determined. He approached me one day and asked for a shot, and we adjusted his training to give him a chance. He earned a spot as a solid alternate, but never expected to get the call for the big races.
That all changed leading up to the national championships when one of our regulars went down. Jake got the call. This senior captain, now thrust into the spotlight, was set to run against the national champion in the open 400 hurdles. I could see the pressure in his eyes as he stepped into the exchange zone, trying to calm himself.
I wish I could tell you it went perfectly, but it didn’t. Jake fought like a champion, but he recorded one of his slowest splits of the season. He didn’t quite do what he was coached to do, but he gave it everything. Despite the stumble, we made it to the finals, thanks to a brilliant performance from the anchor (an athlete that Jake had mentored all season).
Jake didn’t need comforting. He knew what had gone wrong. That night, in a hotel room, we reviewed the race over and over again. Three hours of watching the same moments unfold. "I got too big, too soon," Jake admitted. "But I know what I need to do tomorrow."
When I asked the team if they wanted to change the order for the final, I thought I was protecting Jake from the pressure of that moment. But without hesitation, they told me they wanted Jake in that spot. They believed in him. Even after a tough day, they still trusted their captain.
How Do Teams Get to This Point?
How do you get to a place where a group of individuals, thrown together in the fire of competition, can face one of the most important moments of their lives—knowing that someone they trusted just made a mistake—and still choose to stand by them? How do you reach the point where they roll the dice with that same person again?
It doesn’t happen by accident. It happens because those captains, those leaders, loved their team. And they didn’t just love in the abstract; they displayed it every single day. They encouraged each other with their words, celebrated every individual success, and rallied behind one another when life got tough. They showed their teammates what true commitment and self-sacrifice looked like.
I had seen camaraderie described in books, in theory, but watching it unfold in real time was remarkable. And while I’d like to take credit for it, I can’t say they got it from me alone. Sure, as the coach, it was my responsibility to set the tone—to create an environment where athletes feel valued and understood. I always tried to coach with love, knowing that was my role.
But it was those men—David, Jake, and countless others throughout the years—who truly embodied that Proverbs 10:12 kind of love. They didn't just say it, they lived it. No matter the pressures, no matter the failures, they showed their teammates that love wasn't conditional on success. Love covered their wrongs, and it held them together when everything else tried to pull them apart.
Last Season's Defining Moment
In my final season as a college coach, no story captures the heart of Proverbs 10:12 more vividly than that of the women’s distance medley relay. For distance runners, this relay is the pinnacle—the Super Bowl of their season. It’s the only relay event at the indoor national championships, combining the strengths of three middle-distance runners and a quarter-miler, often creating a mismatched crew. But not this time. These women were not only teammates; they were close friends, bound by a common goal: to qualify for nationals, something no woman from our school had ever done in an event like this.
We knew the time we needed to hit, and we knew that out of the four or five athletes available, every one of them would have to perform flawlessly. Yet, as the season unfolded, each of these young women had at least a handful of bad races. Every time it happened, they would approach me, concern written all over their faces. They didn’t even have to ask—they were worried they’d be the reason the team fell short.
As a coach, my role was to acknowledge their fears without letting those fears define us. We couldn't ignore the tough moments, but we also couldn’t let them overwhelm us. Our first attempt to qualify was at a meet in Boston. We needed to hit a time around 11:40. I put together three strong legs to give them a taste of what it would be like to race with a baton in hand. I still remember the courage of that fourth leg, who I put in a challenging spot, and she performed beyond expectations. But truthfully, all four women rose to the occasion.
That race showed us we had what it took. We were close. Yet, individual races continued, and stress followed. Hillary struggled with consistency. Our plucky freshman made countless tactical errors, simply from lack of experience. Lauren, another standout, was hitting a plateau, and her frustration was palpable. The most emotional moment, though, came from Jazmin, one of our senior captains. She found out, on that very trip to Boston, that this was her final eligible season. There would be no more chances after this. Jazmin was a talented athlete, but self-confidence was her Achilles' heel. She carried an enormous weight of pressure, knowing this was her last shot.
When we finally qualified, barely squeezing into nationals as one of the last teams, I gathered the girls. There was relief, yes, but there was also something more. They weren’t just relieved they’d made it—they were determined. They weren’t focused on whether we’d come in last at nationals. Their resolve was centered on one thing: doing everything in their power for Jazmin. They loved her, and that love meant they would give their all for her, no matter the outcome.
Proverbs 10:12 in Action
The bond these women shared reflected what Proverbs 10:12 says: “Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers all wrongs.” They didn’t just tolerate one another’s mistakes—they covered them with love. When Hillary was inconsistent, they didn’t tear her down; they lifted her up. When our freshman (Taylor) made mistakes, they corrected her with patience, not frustration. When Jazmin’s self-doubt threatened to cloud her final season, the team rallied around her, not letting her carry that burden alone. Their love for each other covered every insecurity, mistake, and misstep.
In that moment, it wasn’t just about qualifying for nationals—it was about showing each other that they were worth more than their individual performances. They understood that love meant sticking together, even when things went wrong. They chose to roll the dice on each other, again and again, because their bond was stronger than any one race.
What can happen when love leads?
So, how did all three of these memorable moments end? David, the high school cross-country captain, had just had a disappointing race the two weeks before. It was a blow to him and to the team, but we regrouped. We didn’t let defeat define us. Heading into the state championships, David and I crafted a plan. It wasn’t a flashy strategy for him to win individually. No, the plan was for David to run stride for stride with our number five runner—because our best chance at a state title didn’t rest on David winning alone; it rested on the team, and that meant helping the fifth runner finish no worse than 33rd place.
David, being the captain full of love and leadership, understood. He put the team first, focusing not on his own finish, but on helping his teammate. And what did David do? He stayed with his teammate every single step of the way. When the race was over, David crossed the line in 32nd place, and our fifth runner finished right behind him in 33rd. We didn’t know it at the time, but that teamwork, that selflessness, won us the state championship by a single point. And when they announced the scores, the lesson was clear: “every point mattered, every person counted” (in quotes because those are the words he said in our huddle after learning we won). That’s the kind of love Proverbs 10:12 speaks of—love that covers all, love that puts others first.
But what about Jake? Jake got his shot on the national stage the next day, running the 4x400-meter relay. As the baton was handed to him, all eyes were on him. Jake knew he had something to prove—not just to himself but to his team. With the weight of yesterday’s mistakes on his shoulders, Jake ran like he never had before. He glided through the first half of the race, and as he hit the final 200 meters, you could see it: he was running not for himself, but for his teammates. Jake finished with his best time of the season, securing an All-American trophy for his team. That’s what happens when we forgive, when we forget mistakes and move forward with love—just like Proverbs 10:12 tells us.
And then there was Jasmine, a senior captain of the women’s distance medley relay. As Jasmine led off, she found herself boxed in among taller, faster runners. Panicking, she made her move too soon, a full lap early. She was sprinting, pushing, trying to hold on, only to realize there was still 300 meters to go.
But Jasmine didn’t crumble. She didn’t give up. Even with her mistake, she found something deeper within—love for her team. She finished her leg and handed the baton over in an All-American position. Each of the other runners, inspired by their captain’s courage, ran the best races of their lives. That freshman anchor, who had once made so many tactical errors, held on to second place until the final lap and still secured an All-American spot for her team. This was the power of love in action—the love that put others first, the love that covered mistakes and drove them to achieve something greater than any of them could have done alone.
What can happen when we put others first?
Proverbs 10:2 reminds us that ill-gotten gain has no lasting value, but righteousness delivers. And righteousness, in this case, was found in love—love that put teammates first, love that forgave, and love that persevered. These athletes didn’t win through selfish ambition or fear. They won through integrity, hard work, and selflessness. Their words, their actions, and their commitment to each other created a future full of possibility.
When we act with integrity, when we lead with love, and when we build trust within our teams, we play the long game. We build not just for victory in the moment, but for lasting success. And as these stories show, when love is the driving force, there is no limit to what can be achieved.