The Art of the Motivational Speech
How Communication Builds or Destroys Trust in Leadership and Coaching
The Power of Words:
I remember when I first got started as a coach. I was filled with energy—actually, I was probably overfilled with energy. I’m certain I had undiagnosed ADHD at the time (neurodivergent seems to be the new word), and in retrospect, there was this constant underlying drive to be accepted by everyone, especially my athletes. Most of them were only a few years younger than me, so there was always that fine line between coach and peer. But, for all my internal buzzing, I had something going for me: enthusiasm. Overly enthusiastic, to be exact. And that zealousness showed up in every practice, every meet, and every team talk.
If you had asked me back then whether I was an effective coach, I probably would’ve said yes, without a second thought. After all, by the metrics of wins and losses, I was doing just fine. My teams advanced in state tournaments, and on paper, I was making a name for myself. But as I look back at that younger version of myself, I realize that I may have been successful, but I wasn’t truly effective. There’s a difference.
You see, I had a leg up on most new coaches. I’d been a high school athlete, and not just any athlete—I’d gone on to compete in college, and that carried some weight back then. I also had a background in human performance, which meant I wasn’t just relying on enthusiasm. I’d read the right books, studied under the right mentors, and had a head coach who gave me the freedom to test my own ideas. But the thing I really leaned on was being the "rah-rah" guy.
What’s a "rah-rah" guy, you ask? Think of those strength and conditioning coaches you see before a football game, firing up the team in the locker room, shouting just the right words with just the right intensity to get hearts pumping. That was me. I’ve been told that I could find the perfect words before a meet, during the race, and afterward during reflection. I could get my athletes revved up and ready to go. I had the wiz, the bang and the words. And for a while, I thought that’s all I needed.
But here’s the truth: as I look back now, I realize that I had more to say than I needed to say. I wasn’t lacking in words, but I wasn’t always offering the right words, either. Sure, I could motivate with my speeches, but I wasn’t really connecting the way I needed to for long-term impact. I was speaking more than I was listening. I was successful, but not effective. Let me tell you why.
The Difference Between Success and Effectiveness in Leadership
As I reflect on those early years of coaching, I now see that there’s a crucial difference between success and effectiveness. Wins and losses are one measure of success, but true leadership goes beyond the event. It’s about building something deeper—trust, resilience, and growth—that lasts long after the final athletic contest. And this is where communication, as I’ve learned, plays a vital role.
In Proverbs 25, we see a similar distinction. The chapter opens by talking about the glory of a king or leader being found in their ability to "search out a matter" (verse 2). This is more than just reacting to surface-level results—it’s about discernment, about digging deeper to uncover the truth. In the same way, being a leader isn’t just about saying the right thing in the moment or getting a short-term win; it’s about using words to build long-term trust and understanding.
The Power of Thoughtful Communication
Looking back, one of the biggest lessons I learned was about the power of thoughtful communication. In Proverbs 25:11, it says, "Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken at the right time." There’s something beautiful and profound about that image. It’s not just about saying something—it’s about saying the right thing at the right time.
As a young coach, I was so focused on getting the team hyped up before a race that I didn’t always take the time to consider what my athletes really needed to hear. Sometimes, they didn’t need another pep talk; they needed quiet confidence. They needed reassurance that, win or lose, they were valued. They needed me to listen as much as I spoke.
The more I’ve grown as a coach and hopefully, leader, the more I’ve come to appreciate the importance of timing and restraint in communication. Proverbs 25:15 reminds us that "by patience and a calm spirit, a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft tongue breaks the bone." True influence isn’t about shouting the loudest or being the most enthusiastic; it’s about knowing when to speak and when to let silence do the work. It’s about guiding others with gentle wisdom, not overpowering them with noise.
The Dangers of Harmful Speech
At the same time, Proverbs 25 also warns of the dangers of harmful speech. Verse 18 compares false testimony to a "club, sword, and piercing arrow." In other words, careless or harmful words can cause damage. While I wasn’t out there slandering anyone, I now see how sometimes my over-enthusiasm and unchecked energy might have caused confusion or frustration among my athletes. I was so busy speaking that I wasn’t always giving space for real connection or reflection.
The same holds true in any leadership role—whether you’re coaching, managing a team, or running a business. Harmful speech, gossip, or even just speaking without thought can undermine trust and weaken the foundation of a team or organization. It’s a reminder that as leaders, we must be mindful not just of what we say, but how we say it.
The Role of a Reliable Messenger
Proverbs 25 also highlights the importance of being a reliable messenger. Verse 13 says, "Like the cold of snow in the time of harvest, so is a faithful messenger to those who send him; for he refreshes the life of his masters." In ancient times, the harvest season was one of the hottest and most grueling periods of the year. Snow, especially in the Middle East, was a rare and welcome relief. To experience cold snow during the harvest would have been an unexpected and refreshing gift, providing relief from the intense labor. In the same way, a faithful messenger brings refreshment and relief to those who rely on them.
For leaders, this means being consistent and trustworthy in your communication. Your team or athletes need to know that they can depend on you—not just for guidance in the moment but for long-term trust and support. Early in my coaching career, I prided myself on being there for my team, but I’ve since learned that trust isn’t built overnight. It takes time, consistency, and a lot of listening.
A reliable messenger isn’t just someone who delivers messages effectively—they follow through on their words with actions. They show, through consistency and integrity, that their words can be trusted. In leadership, it’s not enough to say the right thing once. Like the welcome relief of cold snow in the heat of harvest, being a leader who can be relied upon to follow through consistently brings a lasting sense of security and stability to the team.
What Poor Communication Looks Like in Leadership
In coaching and leadership, poor communication can take many forms. It might look like avoidance—dodging difficult conversations to keep the peace. Or it could be dishonesty—telling people what they want to hear rather than what they need to know. Leaders might be tempted to communicate poorly because it’s easier in the short term, but in the long run, it destroys trust and makes true growth impossible.
I’ve learned the hard way that more isn’t always better when it comes to communication. Effective leaders don’t just speak to be heard—they speak to connect, to guide, and to build trust. And sometimes, the most powerful thing a leader can do is simply listen.
Conclusion: The Wisdom of Proverbs 25
Looking back at my younger self, I see someone who had all the enthusiasm in the world but still had a lot to learn about effective leadership. Proverbs 25 has helped me understand that true leadership isn’t just about winning or delivering the right motivational speech at the right time. It’s about discernment, wisdom, and the power of words used carefully and thoughtfully.
In the end, success on paper will fade, but the relationships built on trust, honesty, and wise communication are what last. That’s the kind of leader I strive to be now—not just a "rah-rah" coach, but one who listens, speaks thoughtfully, and builds trust through actions as much as words.