The Wounds of a Friend Are Better Than the Kisses of a Chicken
The Best Teams Are Built on Breading and Bluntness
I’ve been slinging chicken and biscuits for nearly a month now, and two things have become abundantly clear. First, I’m not cut out for making chicken—especially not fast. Second, and perhaps more surprising, is this undeniable craving I have to be told that I’m doing it wrong. Why? So I can get better.
In my 25 years as a professional, I’ve always relied on my brain and my words—crafting visions, giving direction, leading people toward knowledge or growth. But here, at the Happy Chicken Company, I’ve been forced into something entirely new. Suddenly, it's not about leading a classroom or commanding a team. It's about getting that chicken boxed and into the chute fast enough to feed an endless line of drive-thru customers. And let me tell you, my hands—trained to hold pens, not spatulas—are struggling. Wrapping chicken feels like trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube for the first time.
For the first time in decades, I’m realizing how little I’ve worked with my hands. I can’t play the guitar, I’ve never mastered the piano, and I’ve certainly never been good at drawing. My manual dexterity is weak, and every attempt to wrap a piece of chicken just reinforces it. But one thing is clear: I desperately want to get better at this. And, surprisingly, I’m surrounded by leaders—half my age—who aren’t afraid to tell me when I’m screwing up.
These young supervisors, fresh out of college, have been given permission to coach me, a seasoned professional, on something as simple as wrapping a piece of fried chicken. They call me out when I’m too slow. They show me better techniques. And as humbling as it is, I realize I’m grateful for their feedback. It’s exactly what I’ve spent my career teaching athletes and students: the power of correction, the importance of feedback, and the necessity of loyalty in fostering growth.
It hit me recently as I reflected on all this and opened Proverbs 27. There, in those verses, was a blueprint I had been following my whole career without fully realizing it. A systematic, intelligible way to build a culture of growth through loyalty, mentorship, and constructive feedback. What I’m experiencing at the Happy Chicken Company, with these young leaders pushing me to improve, is the same dynamic I’ve seen work wonders with my teams and athletes. It’s a culture that thrives when people are willing to offer, and receive, correction—not out of judgment, but out of love and a desire for growth.
Coaching a Team that Embraces Loyalty, Mentorship, and Constructive Feedback
In building a successful and unified team, the lessons of Proverbs 27—loyalty, friendship, and the willingness to receive constructive feedback—can provide the foundation for a strong team culture. As a coach, the challenge is not only to lead by example but also to intentionally develop captains and leaders within the team who will embody and promote these values. The key to creating a culture that embraces these concepts lies in intentional training, structured communication, and a focus on mentorship.
Training Team Leaders to Embrace Loyalty and Feedback
To create a culture rooted in the values of Proverbs 27:6 ("Faithful are the wounds of a friend") and Proverbs 27:17 ("As iron sharpens iron"), intentional leadership training for team captains and upperclassmen is essential. These leaders need to understand that their role goes beyond performance; they must embody the principles of loyal friendship and constructive criticism. As a coach, start by:
Teaching Feedback as an Act of Love: Just as loyal friends offer correction out of concern, team captains should learn how to give honest, constructive feedback that is focused on improving performance and personal growth. This means creating a space where captains are comfortable pointing out mistakes or areas of growth, but always in the spirit of helping their teammates improve.
Mentorship Through Example: Captains should be trained to mentor younger athletes, much like the parental role described in Proverbs 27:11 ("My son, be wise, and make my heart glad"). Encourage captains to invest in the development of underclassmen, offering wisdom, guidance, and support both on and off the field. This mentorship creates a cycle where each generation of athletes learns to give and receive advice.
Creating a Team Culture of Open and Honest Communication
Building a team that embraces the "iron sharpens iron" mentality requires establishing clear lines of communication where everyone—from the coaching staff to the athletes—feels empowered to give and receive feedback. To create this culture:
Establish Regular Feedback Sessions: Make feedback an integral part of your coaching strategy by scheduling regular one-on-one and team feedback sessions. Use these moments to praise growth but also to address areas that need improvement, reinforcing the idea that constructive criticism is necessary for development.
Model Vulnerability as a Coach: As a coach, you must lead by example. Proverbs 27:19 reminds us that just as water reflects a face, so the heart reflects a person’s true nature. By openly accepting feedback yourself and showing humility, you encourage your athletes to do the same. Letting your captains and athletes know that you, too, are open to learning and improving fosters a culture of mutual respect.
Recognize and Celebrate Constructive Correction: Normalize the idea that correcting a teammate is an act of loyalty. Celebrate moments where captains or teammates provide helpful feedback, and ensure that this is seen as a positive, supportive act. This helps reinforce Proverbs 27:5 ("Better is an open reprimand than hidden love") as a guiding principle.
Training Athletes to Receive Feedback with an Open Mind
Just as it is essential for captains to give feedback, all athletes must be trained to receive it with grace and humility. Proverbs repeatedly reminds us of the value of accepting correction (e.g., Proverbs 27:12), and this concept must be ingrained in the team’s mindset:
Teach Athletes to See Feedback as a Tool for Growth: Like the "wounds of a friend" in Proverbs 27:6, teach your athletes that feedback, even when uncomfortable, is meant to help them improve. Help them understand that the discomfort they feel when receiving constructive criticism is often the first step toward personal and athletic growth.
Encourage Reflection After Feedback: Following the example of Proverbs 27:19, where the heart reflects the true character, encourage athletes to reflect on the feedback they receive and how they can apply it. This practice helps them internalize correction as part of their journey to improvement rather than viewing it as a negative experience.
Building Communication Strategies to Embed This Culture
To fully embed the values of loyalty, feedback, and mentorship into your team’s culture, clear communication strategies need to be in place:
Create a Shared Language Around Feedback: Develop a team-specific language for giving and receiving feedback that reinforces its positive intent. For example, captains might use phrases like, "I'm giving you this because I know you can handle it," or "I see potential for growth in this area." This helps set the tone that feedback is a normal and supportive part of the team culture.
Institute Peer-to-Peer Accountability: Encourage your athletes to hold each other accountable, not just captains or coaching staff. Following Proverbs 27:17, remind them that they sharpen each other through honest exchanges. Peer-to-peer feedback can help athletes feel more connected and responsible for one another’s growth.
Incorporate Feedback into Team Rituals: Make feedback part of team rituals, such as end-of-practice huddles or pre-game meetings. Allow captains and athletes to offer both encouragement and constructive criticism as part of these moments, further normalizing the practice.
Conclusion: Establishing a Culture of Growth Through Loyalty and Feedback
In the end, whether you’re wrapping chicken or leading a team, the same principle holds true: growth happens when we’re open to being told we’re doing it wrong—so we can get better. Proverbs 27 reminds us that loyal friendships and honest feedback are the cornerstones of meaningful progress.
As coaches, our job is to create a culture where athletes know that correction is a sign of loyalty, not criticism. Captains who can give (and take) honest feedback set the tone for the entire team, sharpening each other like iron on iron. And if my month at the Happy Chicken Company taught me anything, it’s that even when you’re struggling to get chicken into the chute fast enough, there’s always room to grow—as long as someone’s willing to show you the way.
At the heart of it, the strongest teams aren’t just the ones with the best stats, but the ones that embrace loyalty, feedback, and a bit of humility—just like I had to when I was out-chickened by a 19-year-old